wahaha!
can you guess why im online at this hour? shouldnt i be at work? that is because tss decided to gimme leave. they gave me 2 days leave and a half day, so that they can cut my pay by almost a hundred! how cunning. stupid sandwich shop (sss). think i dunno their plan. so scheming!

went back to aj last thurs, then went out for dinner. nothing much actually. went home after that lor.

and i finally applied for uni le! smiles. oh well. at least something major is done, except for sending in of the supporting documents and stuff, which has to be done by this week. shall go photocopy the necessary stuff later.

actually there's nothing much lor, except that i've already started work at jalyn's place. i thought it was fast. just started straight away after the 'interview', haha. oh well. and im working 2jobs this week, jalyn's and sss (yes, the new name!) hahaha. i wanna go get the nice postcards outside sss. i shall remember to get them tml, after work!

oh ya, i forgot to say this, sss dun let me work closing shift, so that i cannot bring food home! so kiam siap la. hahaha. just bring a few wraps/sandwiches/salads home before only ma. oh and muffins and bagels and yoghurt. not a lot right. nv even bring their baguettes home before. it sounds like a lot la, but actually not really. anyway they are wastage! bleahs. stupid sss. and the big boss's scared of rats! go figure how we found out about this. if not you can ask me when you see me online or something. haha. shall not tarnish sss's reputation any further. lols!

i think i'll go buy my swimming costume (yes, i have yet to..) later, then go for a swim before going aj later! wad a nice day. no work no nothing. just slacking away. it's been almost a month since i can slack like this. but there's work tml! boo!

ok, stomachache. gtg! tatax~

work
work at the sandwich shop, tss for short, is so tiring!! morning shift especially. actually, closing shift also very tiring. either way, it's just tiring!! i wanna quit like soon. probably mid apr. though i told my supervisor i may quit at the end of apr/mid may. but i said i MAY, so i may also quit earlier. bleahs! i'll go confirm with her next week. really cannot tahan. i think i'll die. im like lack of sleep almost everyday la. zzz!

anyway, last thurs was ajchoir camp's nightwalk! woah! i went. and i stayed over, without planning to do so earlier on. and guess wad? i found the spoilt window of the nexus, and i slept in the nexus on nice sofa, under the fan. heehee! and i woke up at ard 530am the nx morning, wanting to do home and rest a while before going to tss. and miss yiak said the gate will only be opened at 7am! wth. and she said it's one of the conditions or staying over in school, which she didnt tell us! walau! felt like slapping her. it's the tone she used to tell me leh, just damn kiam par. but luckily the gate isnt locked tightly, and i managed to slip out and go home all the same. bleahs!

today, erm, nothing much except for hkhk practice lor. we found the recording studio's key! and we had our reheasal there! wahaha! i always love studios, i think i said it once. so yea, we had fun there. so cozy and nice. anyway, i think i confirm scraping someone from my cast list. yep. anyway, we took some so-called production photos. haha. then we took group photos! and me and assistant took many photos together, lols. not that i wanna say la, but those photos really looked quite scandalous. haha. especially one, which i deleted. lols! bleahs.

so tired now! i feel like sleeping. see! tss has made me feel tired everyday, even weekends! boohoo. i dun wanna work!! and mark's leaving on monday morning. i guess i'll probably thon in airport tml night. but like no one to thon with me leh. hmmmm. how?? tsk. sian.. oh well, shall see how.

i think i should sign off here le. tatax~

whopdeedoo
heh, sunday! means i need to work tml! not that i hate my job, but it's just tiring. lols. anyway, yea, went for nus and ntu openhouse yday. was not bad. but kinda waste of time. coz tha talks didnt gimme much info also. probably some la, but not a lot. other mass comm, the rest are just shooting other uni/boasting their own.. so boliao and childish..

anyway, rushed to tpy yday and didnt get to rehearse again. sigh.. shall not post the details..

need to rush off to hkhk again! tatax~

the sandwich shop
hey everyone! finally am blogging again. today's my 3rd day at work. haha! and other than tiring, it's alright la. lols! and erm, this sandwich shop is at one raffles link, next to pacific cafe.. and i hope you all dun come and visit me la! HAHA. or you can, come after 2pm.. coz after lunch time, very little ppl, i can entertain you all. BUT, sorry serene, i cant give you all discount, coz im not the boss.. haha. idiot, yuklum. so far, i've not been late for work YET. haha. bleahs. currently am working 9 to 5, coz still a trainee. after 1st week, will be working in shifts, 0630-1600/0900-1830.. yep!

anyway, im working morning shift tml, which means i have to reach there by 630AM! oh man, that's SO early la. go school also not that early. zzz. need to wake up at ard 4 lehs. -cries- but can leave ard 4! yay. i think i'll go library, finish up my book (hopefully) and start on the next one.. (and probably sleep a bit) if not my 5 books at home will NEVER move! and they are all very difficult to borrow. sian!

my cat's chasing a fly now, and she's meowing after the fly.. and she constantly has flu, i guess it's sensitive nose. lols. and her meows today sounds as if she has water in her mouth and she's meowing. like gargling the water like that. so funny. haha!

anyway, back to my work, 1st day was just blur and standing around only la. then 2nd day do more stuff. big boss went in the morning and before closing! haha. but morning i still blur, then i got nothing much to do also. then the kitchen aunty told me, big boss's here, you should look for something to do, if he see you idling away, not good. yea, make sense. so i just act busy, wipe basin, wash stuff. look interested at the kitchen staff making baguettes and wraps. haha.

actually, just morning busy la, afternoon, after 2pm, really quite slack nothing to do. just need to finish duty, then really can idle around liao. quite good. 1st day was super tiring, practically stood the whole day. of course, it's the same for other days la, but im getting used to it now. at least am feeling less tired. just a little muscle sore. 1st day i was like, both legs numb! reach home sit down and do nothing. lols.

anyway, yay! tml fri! last day of work for the week, so happy!! not that working is not a happy thing, i mean the crew and all are nice ppl, joke ard a lot. though a lot of dirty jokes and cold jokes. but im a lame person too. not that i cant appreciate them, just that not that shou2 with them yet la.. but am beginning to. (:

oh, my buddy, nora said, 2nd week, they will want me to ask 15 questions.. any questions, about the products or anything. to see whether im interested or not. oh man, i'll need to crack my brain this weekend. zzz! haha. cant even think of one la. she gave an example yday, but.. I FORGOT WHAT SHE SAID! oh man.. must really crack my brain.. so far i only have like one question, but erm, it's a really lame one. haha.

and yeah, yana, the most senior service crew just tested me on all the codes of the sandwiches and stuff. waaah, i think i passed, since i noe all. just forgot one. heh! wah, a lot of stuff to learn seh. and yea, one thing, they like to scold vulgar leh.. so not nice. and they are all girls. yea, the whole shop's manned by girls/women! wahaha. and today's 三八妇女节! haha.

oh well, so much about my new job. have yet to look at the nus webbie regarding application. zzz. it seems like many ppl will be in fass. or not say many la. but ppl like bel! and probably me and cg.. HAHA. sians. the 2 of us really damn sad case. dun you think so? i do. and cg, tell your friend, drama and mediacorp is actually quite different!

to suaning, i've just smsed EVERYONE, regarding tml's prac, 6pm at the playground. so you better not tell them that there's no prac OKAY!

hmmmm, wad else? OH, i've not watched hana kimi final episode yet!! was TOO tired after work! should have watched on monday man! zzz. but nvm, maybe i'll watch like after the hana kimi on channel U, which is like NOW! so i guess i'll sign off le, tatax~

yayness!
despite all the unhappiness lately, i found a job! yea, from the sandwich shop.. whee! am finally employed. hahaha! so happy. though i still keep a lookout for jobs, like the bartending job. am still so interested in it. for girls it's called barmaid i found out. sounds so.. uncool. but still! haha.

anyway, went back to aj to look for my chinese tutor today. she thought i got a C for chinese, and was shocked to hear that i got an E instead. then miss lee happened to be around, so we talked together. then they kept asking me to keep and open mind, dun keep thinking about mass comm.. then i told them im quite interested in history.. then tan bee lien (oops, sorry, but im used to calling her that.) said i can work in museums in the future.. haha! wadeva. miss lee said chances are higher for me in fass.. that much i noe. she added that with my strong cca records plus recommendation letters, she think can try. which means i will hafta apply under discretionary. uni accepts 10% of such candidates throughout the cohort. so at least i still have 10% chance.. (plus minus..)

then went library to stone. alright, not really stone, i went to read! haha. sucha good habit. lols. for 2plus hours? sat at the seat that provide music! i still think it's quite cool. and i listened to some chinese oldies. so nice. and some english pop. switching once in a while.

went to meet mark after that. and on the way, i got the call from the sandwich shop! ahaha! that person asked me to call if i have any enquiries. but she didnt give me her name and i forgot to ask! lols. maybe she did but i didnt catch it. oh well! but yay! a job!

was supposed to watch 4.10pm's the pursuit for happyness, but stupid mark lazed around until we cant watch it! okay la, i admit, me too. just sit there dun feel like moving. haha. and he remembered the later time slots wrongly! and we didnt get to watch anything! so just had dinner and went home. grrr.

OH! i was planning to blog for 15min! and it's the 16th min already! better sign off and go sleep! i dun wanna be late tml! later they fire me on my 1st day, that'll be so sad man! since the manager (i guess?) who interviewed me already said punctuality is VERY IMPORTANT in the sandwich shop. and i smiled and nodded to her and said i understand. and am willing to sweep and mop the floor and wash the dishes.. hais. but 5dollars an hour. OKAY! zzz. sounds like down and out in paris and london by george orwell man.. im just that jobless guy, who after months of unemployment, finally found a job in a restaurant, doing the job i mentioned. he was inexperienced too! but of course, my pay's higher than his.. haha.

alright, i should really sign off, since it's the 19th min already! tatax~

simple life
anyway, i saw my little cousins' pictures just now! well, maybe not little cousins anymore, since they are so big now. in size and age. but they looked so adorable last time. they look less adorable now. haha. i miss the good old days. when life was so simple and nice. and it was just about cartoons and hide-and-seeks..

everyone back then was worry-free. the most we worry about are things like sweets and snacks and playgrounds and fun. even though i dun have the best childhood, and that i dun really like it some times. thinking back, it isnt all THAT bad. all i worry about was wad kinda bread to eat after school. haha.

everyone back then was more real. not that people now are not la. but you just wouldnt noe if they are true to you or not. maybe you're the real hypocrite yourself? it just gets confusing as you grow older. you cant tell black from white. the problems become bigger and more complex.

okay, i think im getting more and more emo! and i'd better stop, and really go and sleep. tatax~

EMO
slept damn late last night and woke up damn early this morning. perhaps not early enough to avoid everyone, but still early. went out of house aimlessly, as soon as ive bathed and packed my stuff.

didnt noe where to go. suddenly felt quite autistic. went to the mrt station and observe ppl. i think i really damn emo la, today. and i decided to go to the sandwich shop for the walk-in interview. and hence was late for the kbox session. but anyway, the interview was quite fast lehs, apart from the waiting time. hmmms. nvm! shall just wait for them to call me. wait for around 2-3days ba! mean time i guess i can try out the bartender too! coolio.

went kbox, SO FUN! i guess it's the company. (: sorry for hogging the mic, but ive warned everyone. bleahs! me, yuk and malc went hq's house after that. and his mum gave us ang pow! even though we didnt bai nian! wah, so nice. haha. we just stoned down there until 5plus. and we left.

went hkhk. and guess wad? everyone assumed that there's no practice today, coz i didnt see their smses, hence not replying them. and i didnt pick up their calls. and they just jump to the conclusion that there's no prac today! grrr! -angry- ok, sorry that i didnt pick up the phone/reply the sms. but erm, i remember telling vic (and i think kiat and sua too), that we'll be having practice EVERY SATURDAY! and additional ones on WED! hmmph! this again proves that ppl dun listen to me yea? but this of course isnt the only incident today. -disappointed-

the good thing is, shiqi came!! yay.. and kiat came later after ive told her that there IS prac today. so at least the 2 of them went. and we went through 2 scenes. oh well. better than nothing. sorry though for them and tze hui to come down and see no one. sigh.

reached home quite early, at around 9. so early.. i wanna stay out later, but there's no where for me to go. i think i sound damn sad. sad case.

sigh, am i demanding too much, from everyone and myself? i have this empty, hollow and cold feeling. and these makes you feel lost and lonely. it's like an after effect after experiencing these feelings. and ive nv liked that.

i guess it's not just because of my results. but probably largely contributed by it. but no one would understand that. no one understands me.. even i dunno myself. ive nv really known myself anyway. it's no wonder no one can understand me.. just great.

maybe i should sleep earlier tonight.. shall sign off here. tatax~

Famous Last Words
Now I know
That I can't make you stay
But where's your heart?
But where's your heart?
But where's your...

And I know
There's nothing I could say
To change that part
To change that part
To change...

So many
Bright lights, they cast a shadow
But can I speak?
Well is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete
A life that's so demanding
I get so weak
A love that's so demanding
I can't speak

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

Can you see
My eyes are shining bright
Cause I'm out here
On the other side
Of a jet black hotel mirror
And I'm so weak
Is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete
A love that's so demanding
I get weak

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

These bright lights have always blinded me
These bright lights have always blinded me
I say

I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead

(How can I see, I see you lying) 'Cause I see you lying next to me
(How can I see, I see you lying) With words I thought I'd never speak
(How can I see, I see you lying) Awake and unafraid
(How can I see, I see you lying) Asleep or dead

'Cause I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead

'Cause I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
(Or dead)
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
(Or dead)
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
(Or dead)
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
(Or dead)
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
(Or dead)
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

-My Chemical Romance

woah
results are finally out after sucha looong wait huh. and aj did quite well 'cept for gp. and it's more than gp for me.. but anyway, well done for those who did well and met their target! and i feel sorry for those who didnt do so well. all i can say is that, dun be dishearten! somehow, things will work out.. im sure.

well. most, in fact all (except maths) did not meet my target. but target can just anyhow set one wad. it's more like i didnt expect this kinda result. just sucks la. coz of the stupid E.. E for chinese, surprisingly.. and C for econs. wad a change! A for maths. and i got the lousiest passing grade for gp as well. i guess my languages just suck. which is not something new to me. at least ive discovered this fact quite long ago. just didnt noe it was this bad.

the best part is, when i got home.. the whole world's just buzzing around my E instead of my improved econs.. this just sucks la. and wad about my A? does it not mean anything to you? i've worked hard for all these, eventhough they may not be the best set of results! even I dun want an E on my result slip. no one would! just stop it will you! at least someone's on my side. BUT still talking about my E, no doubt..

maybe they nv knew that econs WAS my lousiest subject. and it was one which i've NEVER passed in my entire jc life.. but i remember telling them that. but maybe they just nv take notice of whatever i say to them. but i thought they've listened. i've always thought they'd.. but i guess, they never.. SORRY to let YOU ALL down then.. SORRY that i CANT do YOU ALL proud then. why dun YOU try doing MY papers? if YOU think you're at least HALF as smart as i am.. JUST STOP denying my efforts will you? SUCKS okay!

was actually feeling alright before i got home. or at least i thought i was alright. should have stayed out all night i guess.. anyway after results, went ritz carlton for that little performance. went alright i guess. then went home already. wad a lousy day. not that the performance was bad. but yea.

at least when im outside, i noe i didnt do well, but i was feeling OKAY.. ppl at home just make you feel worse.. or maybe WORST.

somehow tonight seems so cold. one blanket isnt enough to keep you warm.. so much rantings, shall sign off here. tatax~

1 more day!
ok, tml's results and the performance. but am still not very worried lehs. in fact others ard me are starting to panick. haha.

went for alumni prac last night. was alright. then went home le. was raining the whole time. in fact it is still raining now.. i dun like rain when i have to walk in the rain. but i like it when i stay indoor and look out.

anyway, was arguing with yuklum about some stage performance just now. wahaha. to think we argued for so long. but i still think we should be more open-minded. should just stick to the old way of doing things. choral singing is still a performance, and we should always try new things. others nv doesnt mean cannot. and i think there's no such thing as the choir look. or maybe there is. but so wad? no one set a model or anything of how a choir should look like. if everyone were to stick to this imaginery model, then we'll nv break free.. hence we must always try something new.. something different from others. but we are not doing it for sake of being different. there are other purpose to it, but it just so happens that it's different from others. but as long as it has effects (positive ones, of course) on stage, who cares if we're being different?

then after that we talked about practice makes perfect.. and she disagreed! she said practice is ultimately different from the actual thing. practice may not make it perfect, or something along that line. yea, practice may not make things perfect, but it will definitely make it better! you cant deny that. if not you wun be forced to do all those timed-practices in school, you wun be having mock papers in preparation for your actual papers! all these proove that, it does work, it does help. as long as you're willing to practice. there are of course some black sheeps here and there, but still, you cant deny the fact that practice doesnt help at all! so yea..

then later she just say that im very good at arguing then she dun wanna argue with me le. hahaha. it's been a long time since someone argue with me for this long leh. coz ppl like marie, yuhua, mark will just agree with me or something, coz they dun wanna argue with me. hahaha. idiots.

anyway, did i mention that i helped jalyn laoshi, act as one of her students, so that a journalist can shoot her and interview her? it's out on the new paper today. haha.

i shun bian looked through the cats fastads, and found some jobs! as in job opportunities la. haha. cartel's looking for ppl, the sandwich shop (in CBD) is also looking for ppl. the good thing for working in the CBD is that, you dunnit to work on weekends! hahaha. and the pay's not bad lehs. for the sandwich shop that is. interview's on sat. cartel's one is today and tml only. but tml i MAY not be able to make it. then today, im just a bit lazy to go. and it's getting kinda late le. interview's ending sooon. okay, im just lazy. haha!

or i can be a bartender! wa! so coooool! oh man.. but i dunno where's that place. but like so cool. haha. training will be provided leh! at a restaurant called raj. sheila's ex-boyfriend's restaurant? lols. kidding. where's syed alwi road?

actually right, there are many jobs im interested in. or are willing to do. but they all require experience wad! wad do you want me to do? fake that i do have exp meh? grrr. or i can go to the airport to work as security screening officer! haha. dunnit experience, but must be physically fit (not that im not..), and work 12hours a day.. hmmmmm.

hahah! i guess it's really good to get your hands on the newspapers. any kind. i shall start buying the new paper everyday. lols.

am meeting yuklum, bel and dj later.. haha. last meeting before results! okay la, shall sign off here. hope that tml will be a happy day! ((: tatax~